Online you can find multiple lists of things that you are advised to do whilst going through the pain of a break up. Many people going through this process, especially after a long term relationship, may go out and make the same mistakes. As I am newly going through this process myself I am going to give you a list of 5 things I will NOT be doing after mine:
1. Maintaining animosity
The first reaction when someone you love breaks up with you is to be bitter and argue. This is only due to the extreme upset you are going through and your ill-thought theory that maybe if you argue your point across well enough that things will change. I'm here to tell you that they won't. If things are meant to change they will do organically and by feeling anger towards that person you are only pushing away your best friend (this is of course assuming that there has been no foul play or arguments leading up to this). This person has had the top spot in your life for such a long time, why not look at the situation and think 'how can I make the most of this?' You may not have them in your life in an affectionate way anymore but there is no need to lose an amazing friend, and by maintaining animosity you will be ridding yourself of any chance of that.
2. Getting Tinder
I will not, I repeat WILL NOT be getting Tinder. I find it utterly degrading and pointless to advertise yourself in a catalogue of singletons where you are judged purely on a filtered image and a caption of yourself. I'd rather get cats (which at this point I probably will).
3. Joining a gym
Post break-up many people decide to take to their local gym so that they can rebuild their self image and becoming more appealing to potential suitors. Why? I ask you. Yes it is all well and good being the best and most healthy version of yourself, but that can also be done for free, at home, weight-lifting soup cans and watching When Harry Met Sally on repeat.
4. Running away
It has always been a dream of mine to travel the World as it is for many others. So many people I know have gone through break-ups, packed their bags and headed to Asia. There is nothing wrong with that but personally I see it as a very expensive way to get over a break-up, Especially when really I could get a Mega-bus to Manchester and drown my sorrows there. Save the amazing things for when you are feeling amazing. If you run away from your problems they will still be there when you get home and have to move back to your parent's house.
The general format is as follows: get dumped, get drunk, take pictures to make your ex jealous, pull the next questionable guy that walks into whichever dive you are in, sleep with them, wake up with regret and a possible STI. Stop it. You'll make your ex hate you, you will loose your self dignity and nobody likes having to queue up in a clinic on a Saturday morning. Instead build yourself a strong friendship network, work on your career - in short anything that may have fallen to the way-side during your relationship. No-one finds the resident drunk with their fanny out attractive.
So yes, this is a relatively short list however I hope it may help anyone going through the same process to stop, think, and delete that Tinder account.
Happy healing x